When was the last time, you took time for you?
I had to make a hard decision back in November. One where I was facing huge conflict. Talk at an event or prioritise my self and my needs.
I had said I would speak. As time ticked on. I knew deeply that it was the wrong thing to do. I have always delivered on my word. It came as a big surprise to see my internal compass forcibly drive me in another direction.
On this occasion I could sense I wouldn’t be in a position to talk with any of the flare, abandon and courage I could normally muster. The message I have is important. Any chance to share it. I grab with both hands.
The internal conflict I was facing was absolutely massive. My gut instinct was practically shouting from the roof tops, this was a time to stop, reflect and evaluate.
Now that the time has come and gone I can breathe a big sigh of relief.
I choose sanctuary, I choose silence. I choose complete and utter indulgence. A beautiful town house, nourishing food. Amazing friends who understood my need to be quite or reflective. Or just to stay in cozy clothes. Even to throw ideas around into the early hours. Laugh or cry. No judgement. It was complete and utter heaven. I chose right.
Every fibre in my body knew it.
That weekend will go down in history as one of the most important choices I made. I never choose for myself. Never. A total habit and patten change that in time I know will deliver for so many others. Finally my head is unlocked after weeks.
Over December I rode an adrenaline rollercoaster day in day out. In a bid to be there for others. I threw caution to the wind and decided I would drink from the goblet of fire. Every night I faced down my own fears so I could support others.
The out pouring of energy was huge. On every single level it was so worth it. I would do it in a heartbeat again should the need arise. This year I felt it was so unbelievably important to be there.
The collective experience in the country over the last 12 months has been one of uncertainty, hardship and trauma. The mood although optimistic. The added pressure of Christmas was stirring the emotional barrel.
I sensed creating The Long Night Show. A place of connection, laughter and support. Was something I had to do.
Truth be told I was fried by the 1st of January. My creative flare stunted by emotional exhaustion. I was absolutely cooked not in a spicy that will sting way.
But in a I’ve walked through tunnels of fire and now I need to stop and learn from all the extraordinary experiences I’ve had day after day.
A gift that in turn is cultivating growth and understanding in me. I could not have done that any other way.
I don’t regret it for a second. I would do it in a heartbeat over and over again.
The message here the one I so often fail to see myself. Taking time to breathe to reconnect with everything that slows you down in the world. It’s not just important it’s a necessity.
I truly will not reach my full capability and potential if I do not prioritise my emotional and physical need to recuperate. As I get older and take on more responsibility for others in my orbit. I recognise I must pay lip service to down time. Or absolutely no one wins.
Interestingly my overall capacity to put out huge amounts of energy, love, positivity, hope and laughter. Has expanded exponentially since. Really focusing on daily gratitude. Opting for kindness and actively making and taking time for me has made a monumental difference to my approach to life and all its adventures.
It certainly isn’t always easy so many labels to stand into … Mumma, Wife, Mentor, Business owner.
The reality is they are just that labels. I am Amanda Wanowski. A girl who believes you can be the difference in the world just by showing someone kindness, by being open and responsive.
That hope can come from connection to other humans through laughter, love and positivity by celebrating our differences. And observing just how wonderful and miraculous humans are.
I see everyday that we have boundless levels of resilience and grit. That even through the most hellish of experiences love, compassion and empathy can conquer all.
And like me everyone can bounce back if they are showered in love. The potential you have to change your life is unlimited but it starts with the simplest of beliefs in yourself.
Believing you are important enough to be put first even for one day is a huge step in the right direction.
I had the words service before self literally drilled into me for years.
Now I serve myself so others can thrive.
And you know what ….. It seems to be working.